Lesson 5: Finding One Person
Connection Without the Drama
Welcome Back (1 minute)
Halfway through. Lesson 5. You're doing this.
We've talked about sleep, urges, money. But here's what makes all that easier: having just one person who gets it.
Not talking about a whole support network. Not fixing every relationship. Just one person who understands why you're at the clinic at 5 AM.
The Loneliness Thing (3 minutes)
Nobody really talks about how lonely early recovery is.
Old friends? Can't see them if they're still using
Family? Maybe they're done with your shit
Regular people? Don't understand medication or clinics
Dating? Probably not the best idea right now
So you're alone with your thoughts. And right now, your thoughts are terrible company. They're all about using, gambling, or how you've screwed everything up.
Even in a crowded waiting room, everyone's on their phones or staring at the floor. All these people fighting the same battle, but nobody talks.
The loneliness actually hurts. Like physical pain. And you know what kills pain...
That's why connection matters. Even tiny connections. Even imperfect ones.
Start Smaller Than You Think (3 minutes)
You don't need a sponsor. Don't need a best friend. Just need one person who nods when you say "rough morning."
Look around the clinic tomorrow:
That person who always holds the door
The one who says "almost Friday" every Thursday
Someone who saves seats in group
The counselor who really asks how you are
That person you've seen every morning for weeks
Start microscopic:
Eye contact (that's enough)
Head nod (counts as connection)
"Morning" (don't need more)
"Long line today" (shared experience)
"Thanks" (when someone holds the door)
If groups aren't happening for you:
Ask about phone meetings
988 has people 24/7
Online recovery forums count
Even commenting "same" on someone's post helps
Discord/Reddit recovery communities
Why This Is So Hard (2 minutes)
"I burned every bridge"
Someone at the clinic has the same story. Guaranteed. Start there.
"I don't deserve friends yet"
That's shame talking. It wants you alone so you'll use again. Don't let it win.
"I'm not good with people"
Cool. Find another person who's not good with people. Sit quietly together. Still counts.
"Everyone at the clinic is messy"
Everyone at the clinic is showing up. Including you. That takes guts. Look again.
"I don't want to bother anyone"
Saying "morning" isn't bothering. Neither is "how's it going?" Most people are lonely too.
The casino knows your name. The dealer has your number. But do you have one person who's happy you're alive and trying? That's what we're talking about.
This Week's Experiment (1 minute)
Pick ONE based on what feels possible:
Easiest:
Make eye contact with one person
Nod at someone you recognize
Sit near the same person in group
A Little Harder:
Say "morning" to someone
Ask "you been coming here long?"
Comment on the weather
Harder Still:
Exchange numbers with someone
Say "text me if you need backup on check day"
Offer to save someone's seat
Tell your counselor you're working on connection. They know isolation kills recovery. They'll be glad to hear it.
Remember This (30 seconds)
Dealers answer on the first ring. Casinos greet you by name. Apps know exactly when you're vulnerable.
You deserve one person who knows you're trying to change.
That person might be at the clinic tomorrow morning. Keep your eyes open.
Tomorrow we'll talk about small movements that help your brain heal. But today? Just make eye contact with someone.
See you in lesson 6.
